So the latest build of the popular
Emerald Viewer includes a new column in your friends tab--you can now see whether or not anyone has 'clicked you off' i.e., set it so you do not see them come online.
As you can see here, someone's done just that on my flist. (Actually, several have--you can click the eyeball icon and sort by that column).
This isn't any kind of sneaky dirty trick on the part of the Emerald viewer. All it is doing is compiling information that is freely available and supplied by Second Life and showing it to you within the viewer.
A feature that has been a part of Emerald viewer for quite some time is 'show true online status in profile'. Click this, and an Emerald viewer user can see if another user is online regardless of whether they are friends or not.
It may come as a shock, but the cold truth is: there is NO TRUE PRIVACY in Second Life.
None. Nada. Zip. Every resident should realize this.
Short of creating a brand new alt that never ever friends anyone, or joins any groups, or builds anything that will be seen/used/purchased by anyone, or goes anywhere where other people are, you cannot find any sort of real privacy within Second Life. (I have an alt like this. She was the first avatar I made, three days before I decided I didn't like her name and made Helix instead. It's very boring, logging in as her.)
Instead, we engage in a shared polite fiction, encouraged by LL's official viewer, which does not show us all the information that is available about a resident's online status etc. etc.
Rather like the Victorian custom of being 'not at home' (Miss Pickering may be sitting in her parlor ten feet away as the butler tells Mister Lowbottom she is not at home, and then tells Lord Chesty to follow him in.), the viewer acts as the butler, informing visitors whether one is 'at home' to you, or not, regardless of where they actually are.
Emerald takes away the parlor door and shows us Miss Pickering, violently shaking her head no to Mister Lowbottom while smiling and welcoming Lord Chesty.
Yes, all this information was easily available before, but how many people sought it out? Not many, I would imagine. Finding out a sweetheart or close friend has been clicking you off hurts. It is a surprise, and it stings like a slap, and one does not always behave rationally in the moments following such a discovery.
And Emerald kind of shoves it in your face.
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Some quick thoughts on etiquette in a virtual world with NO TRUE PRIVACY.
- Ideally, we would never click one another off. There are many reasons for doing this, I suppose. Many of them could be resolved if LL would allow residents to show their 'busy' or 'away' statuses in the contact list. But frankly, learning to politely say, as Miss Manners suggests when uninvited guests drop by, "Oh, how nice of you, but this is not a good time--please let's set up a time that's good for both of us so we can have a real visit." is a skill that would serve many people well in both lives.
Personally, I never click anyone off. I think of how embarrassing it would be if Mister Lowbottom rose to the height of rudeness and broke the polite fiction by IMing and saying, "I know you are right there, Miss Pickering!"
It's difficult to say, "I'm sorry, I'm busy ATM, but I want to spend time with you later." You run the risk someone will hear "I'm too busy for you" instead of "I want to spend time with you later." You do risk hurting feelings and whatnot. But by clicking off, you are pretty much guaranteed to cause some hurt.
- Following on that point, if someone has clicked you off, it would indeed be the height of rudeness to IM them while they are 'not at home' to you. Trust me. Wait and discuss it later, if it merits discussion.
- Be extraordinarily stingy with your mapping privileges. They are much more difficult to take away than they are to give. Some time ago, I removed everyone on my flist from mapping privs. I did this so no one person would feel singled out.
- If someone has given you mapping privileges,
do not try not to use them! Why on earth do you need to know if your friend is poking around the seedier corners of Zindra?
- Above all, do not ever ever teleport to a mapped friend's location. I find this to be the absolute pinnacle of rudeness, whether it be a casual friend or your fake pixel spouse of four years. It was one such event which precipitated (along with a few other minor incidents) my removing everyone on my list from mapping privs.
- Never take a landmark to a friend's house without being invited to do so. And if you have been invited to do so, or if a friend has given you a landmark, never drop by without being invited. EVEN IF they say 'drop by anytime.'
- Be even stingier with your edit privileges. Someone with edit privs can move your things, return things to you, and otherwise mess up your stuff. And if someone grants you edit privs, never ever use them for anything other than whatever specific task the person asks you to use them for. Moving a house. Adjusting a tree. etc. This is basic common courtesy. Don't mess with people's stuff without permission.
- Lastly, be aware of the location you log from, and where you log in to. Don't 'last log' into your friend's home unless they specifically told you they wanted you to. Even if they are your absolute BFF and they totally would never mind, don't do it unless they tell you directly that they want you to. It's inconsiderate and rather boorish otherwise.
